Finding Your Tribe: Navigating Social Connections in a New Country

Hey there! I’m diving into today’s post about tribes. Why they’re crucial to your life abroad, and how I found mine. Moving abroad can be exhilarating, intense, and sometimes scary as hell! It’s exciting and terrifying all at the same time. It demands bravery, resilience, and a bit of creativity. Finding that group of people who just get you. When I moved from NYC to Italy in 2018, I realized having my own circle was paramount. Sure, I had my husband’s family and friends, but I needed my own people. My own tribe.

Understanding the Concept of a Tribe

So, what do I mean by “finding your tribe”? In the immigrant/expat world, it’s about forming those tight-knit social bonds that offer emotional and social benefits. These connections provide more than just companionship—they offer support, understanding, and a sense of belonging. In a new place where things feel unfamiliar, having a tribe can be the difference between feeling isolated and feeling at home. And I definitely did not feel at home for the first two years. I had to work hard to find folx who were on similar journeys as me.

Initial Challenges Faced

Landing in a new country, devoid of personal connections, can be daunting. Cultural and social differences, managing family life, and the sheer process of finding your groove all add layers to the challenge. And when you add kids to the mix, like I did, navigating this new move involves balancing their needs, mine, and the quest for community.

Starting Point: Using Online Platforms

Facebook Groups

For me, the journey began online. I had no idea Facebook would be where I would find my new closest friends. It turned out to be a treasure trove for meeting like-minded people. In the past, I never really used FB for meeting people. It was for sharing photos and what was going on in my world. In Italy though, that’s where a lot of connections are made. I found myself scouring into expat groups and international mom groups, where meetups were regularly organized. The key? Active participation. I had to truly make an effort and put myself out there. Including bringing my babes along too. So say hi, join the chats, attend the meetups… you never know who you might click with until you try. It was a bit of trial and error finding folx I vibed with but I eventually found some of my closest friends that are still in my circle today. Making new friends when you’re over 30 is a different ball game and I had limited access to transportation. So I immersed myself in the city life of Treviso.

Other Online Resources

Facebook isn’t the only player here. Explore meetup apps and expat forums like Internations. Social media platforms beyond Facebook can open up avenues to connect with your future tribe. The internet is vast and wide… use it!

Importance of Live Events for Community Building

Moving on to the real world… Live events are a fabulous way to mingle. But let’s talk about the differences. Back in New York, starting a chat at a bar was a breeze. Here in Italy, at least in Treviso. Many already have their circles, their bubbles. Sometimes, getting an introduction from a mutual connection can help break into these existing circles. But don’t lose heart, live events like theater shows, concerts, or even casual gatherings in parks or piazzas can offer opportunities. In Italy, there are sagras, which are similar to county fairs in the U.S. They happen throughout the year and are rooted in the traditions of each particular town it’s hosted in. Some have sagras for the chestnut season, for the mushroom season, fish, you name it! There’s a sagra for everything and a cool way to meet locals. You can also make your own event!

I created some karaoke night events in the city center and they were so fun! I missed belting out my favorite jams and it was amazing just to have that vibe.

Leveraging Family-Centric Activities

Connecting through Children’s Activities

For parents, children’s activities are a goldmine for networking. Schools, swim classes, or dance sessions often have other parents eager to connect. I found wonderful connections through my daughter’s school—a Montessori one, which I absolutely love. The parents are super active in the Whatsapp groups and make community building a priority. My Italian improved too and that has helped me immensely. Engaging with other parents not only builds friendships but also enriches your children’s experiences with playmates.

Strategies for Introverts and Extroverts

Let’s face it… not everyone is a social butterfly. Introverts, extroverts, wherever you fall on the spectrum, there’s a strategy for you. For the more introverted, smaller gatherings or one-on-one meetups could ease you into it. Extroverts might dive head-first into bigger social events. It’s about finding your comfort zone and gently pushing its boundaries. Socializing is a mix of courage and patience. I sometimes tip tow into each and that has helped me to not feel overwhelmed.

The Long-Term Benefits of Finding Your Tribe

Creating a tribe is about building lasting friendships. It’s about mental health, well-being, and finding someone to lean on outside of your immediate family. Having someone to share the ups and downs with, someone to grab a coffee or a dinner with is crucial. In this journey, patience is key. Some connections won’t last, and that’s okay. But you’ll find those who truly resonate with you. Now that I’ve been here for six years I have a community of friends who are single without kids and those who have children too. I think having that balance is lovely, I can go out and experience life in a myriad of ways and not feel like I’m always in mama mode.

Staying Connected with Your Origin Tribe

While building new connections, don’t forget your original tribe. Friends and family from back home play a vital role in your life. I check in with folx a couple of times a month and use WhatsApp too. Sometimes I feel super homesick so having an hour Facetime call with a bestie back home is everything. They’ve been with you in your previous chapters. Keep communication alive—video calls, messages, or even sharing little life updates. It all matters!

Challenges and Setbacks in Finding Your Tribe

It’s not always smooth sailing. There are people you just won’t click with. You might experience mismatches or moments where you feel left out. And that’s totally okay. Not everyone is gonna be your best friend. But these are learning experiences. Adjust your expectations and realize that building meaningful connections takes time. A lot of time. Be patient, be persistent. It’ll work out, I promise.

Tips for Success in Building Your Tribe

Let’s sum up some key strategies:

I’d love to hear your stories. How did you find your tribe? What’s been your journey? Share in the comments, or drop me a message. Let’s connect and support each other in our new spaces and places.

Final Musings

Finding your tribe is a journey—a rewarding one absolutely. It’s about evolving, growing, and transforming your experience abroad into something truly harmonious. Keep exploring, and keep reaching out. Who knows? Your next best friend might be a coffee chat away.